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Slut Scientist demands
Allen Wrench
must be cloned next !

International Superstar
Allen Wrench
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Slut scientist damands Wrench clone

Allen Wrench clone is next logical step

Boisselier - Wrench fetish

After only a few days of first shocking the world with her claim to have scientifically produced the first cloned human, Scientist and UFO cult member Brigitte Boisselier made the shocking statement that the next cloned human would be of international rock personality - Allen Wrench.

The first cloned human, a baby girl that has been named Eve, and was conducted by a company known as Clonaid. According to Clonaid director Brigitte Boisselier, Clonaid has been successful with its first clone and now we are on to our real objective. To clone Allen Wrench lead vocalist of punk rock super group Kill Allen Wrench.

Religious leaders and fellow scientist around the world were shocked and amazed at the revelation. Both Italian fertility expert Severino Antinori and the Vatican not only cast doubt on Saturday on the claim by an obscure cult and scientific organization, that its followers had produced the world's first cloned human being, as well as being shocked at Clonaid's choice for the second clone.

"to me, using Allen Wrench as the subject for the first clone would be sacrilegious." Stated Boisselier "With all scientific efforts, the first trials are almost always failures. Allen Wrench is such an important human being that I could not risk, even his clone, not surviving a research project. Clonaid's position on the matter was to perfect the cloning process and then move on to our main objective... Allen Wrench"

When asked by the stunned press core why Allen Wrench, Boisselier stated that Wrench was the obvious choice for a multitude of reasons. "He's the greatest song writer, vocalist, rock performer, fighter, lover, poet, and lyricist. He's also a beautiful man." Continued Boisseliert. "I am also not afraid to admit that I am in love with him."

When asked if Wrench had ever had an affair with her, Boisselier stated that she had never had any type of serious relation with the super star.


Allen Wrench - handsome rock personality

"I live in Las Vegas Nevada." Said Boissellier "And anyone that knows anything about Allen Wrench knows that is a city that he frequents often. I actually saw him at the Slots-o-Fun casino on the Las Vegas Strip for the first time. He was in an extremely drunken state and had just recently lost a considerable about of money on the craps table. I was mesmerized by his beauty. I knew he had to have been someone special. After I walked up to him and introduced myself, he had told me he was a popular rock musician. Only seconds later he was whisked away in waiting limousine. And that's the last time I saw him."

After her Allen Wrench encounter, the star stuck scientist returned to her Clonaid office to research the super star. "That's when I discovered that Allen Wrench was the perfect human being. Perfect in every way. He needed no genetic manipulation. He was already the ultimate human specimen. Our clone project was designed specifically for Allen Wrench."


Brigitte Boisselier explains that Allen Wrench is the 'perfect being'